Faithful
by Bobbie23
Summary: AU ending of Annihilated. Elliot never accepted Kathy's invitation to stay.


**Author Note – An AU ending of **_**Annihilated. **_**To set the scene, Elliot never stayed when Kathy asked him to. If you have the time I would appreciate you sharing any thoughts you have on the story either with a review or send me a PM if you're uncomfortable leaving a public comment.**

Faithful

'"_Some people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them," I said.' ― __John Green__, __The Fault in Our Stars___

His car door clicked shut quietly and pressed the locking button on his key fob, the lights blinking to tell him the car was secure. He turned to walk the short distance to his building, his face cast down to the street beneath his feet. It wasn't till he was ducking between to parked cars and stepping up onto the curb that he raised his head and found his partner staring back at him. His breath caught as she sat on his stoop, much like she had months ago, brown eyes studying him not judging him for what he did earlier. He swallowed the lump in his throat and kept walking towards her. He had just left his family home, his wife asking, inviting, him to stay.

Again.

And for the second time this week he turned her down. He never thought he would be able to walk away from Kathy and he had to admit he had been tempted. He wanted the familiar comfort of her body especially after this morning. There was still part of him that wished he could erase the last two years but they couldn't. It would have complicated everything. If he had stayed, he wouldn't have known Olivia was sitting on his stoop.

Waiting for him.

"Cragen told me what happened this morning," she said by way of greeting.

"He pissed?" Elliot said as he leant against the concrete bannister.

"He said it would be a good idea if you took some personal time till Royce's injuries healed."

Elliot bobbed his head. He knew there was more but that was for Cragen to tell him, not Olivia. He didn't hide his gaze as it travelled over her, taking in the trainers, comfortable jeans. The long beige coat she had been favouring replaced by a fitted leather jacket. Her now long hair tied back in _that_ ponytail and her fringe skimming the top of her eyes. Brown eyes captured blue. She was worried. She wasn't judging him for what he did today, just like always. She understood what he was thinking.

"Did you go see the kids?"

He hadn't gone to Queens straight away; he'd spent most of the day just driving around before parking at the docks and sitting there until hours after the sun set. Then he'd gone to his old house, watched his kids sleep for the second time that week, and walked away from them for the second time that week.

"Yeah, they were sleeping but Kathy let me in."

Her eyes dimmed at the mention of Kathy and she averted her gaze, licking her lips quickly. Elliot focused on the glimmer of moisture left behind by her tongue and he barely noticed her shifting uncomfortably to make a space for him on the step. Inviting him.

He stared at the spot for a long moment and he knew she would quickly rethink the invitation if he took too long to accept it. Olivia started moving again and it spurred him into action as he stepped forward and sat next to her. His elbows rested on his knees and his hands met in an apex under his chin. They didn't look at one another, steadfastly avoided it.

"_Then you meet another woman who makes you feel so alive, she doesn't nag you, it's easy."_

"You're not him Elliot," Olivia told him quietly, confidently.

His lip quirked, she always knew what he was thinking. He marvelled at the certainty in her voice, wondered where her unwavering sureness stemmed from. He didn't have that faith in himself and he had no right to expect that from her now after the months, years, of arguments and tension.

"He never gave one thought to his children, his wife or his lover. He only thought about himself. That's not you," Olivia stated when he said nothing. He turned his head and met her gaze again. Her eyes flickered softly, sheening over. "You never cheated on Kathy," she whispered vehemently looking away again.

He watched her stare down the street, her throat bobbed. She was shaking lightly and he knew it wasn't the weather. March was mild this year.

"You're not Malcolm Royce, Elliot. You think you deserve to be punished when you don't."

She always knew what he was thinking.

"What counts as cheating?" Elliot asked out loud. He wasn't sure if he expected an answer or if he was even asking Olivia. She stayed silent but he saw her gnaw lightly at her lower lip before pulling it between her teeth. "A kiss?" He suggested rhetorically. "Sex?"

There was barely discernible shrug of her shoulders and Elliot sighed knowing he should stop this now, ignore it like they usually do. He couldn't, he already gave into his impulses once today and he wanted to take advantage of the leeway that gave him in this conversation. "Or is it when you feel something for someone else? Even when you don't intend to, you do everything you can to stop it happening and it happens anyway."

"El…" she tries to warn but her voice catches and she flinches away like he touched her. He hasn't. His hands are still clasped under his chin and there's at least three inches between their thighs, more now she's shuffling along the step. "If this is about Dani…"

"This isn't about Dani," he grinds out wishing, not for the first time, that night never happened.

"Something happened between you," Olivia counters.

"Yeah," Elliot admits quietly. There's no real point in lying to her because she knows him better than that. "But that wasn't about her either. I wanted her to be someone she wasn't."

"You were missing Kathy."

"Not just Kathy. What happened with Dani wasn't about Kathy," he confesses reluctantly.

She always knew what he was thinking.

"Don't," she snaps. Olivia stands, shaking her head.

And as much as it scares him, he always knows what she's thinking.

It's why he's on his feet, right behind her, grabbing her elbow before she slips out of his reach. He spins her back to him.

"You came to find me to see how I am," Elliot reminds her. "I'm trying to tell you."

Olivia jerks her arm out of his grasp and steps back. "I shouldn't have come. I'll see you when you get back from your personal time."

"You can't control everything Liv," Elliot points out as she takes another step back.

"I'm not trying to," she argues.

"Then why are you scared to hear what I've got to say?" Olivia stares back at him, her jaw dropping as she fights an inner battle. "Because it's harder to deny when someone says it," he answers for her.

"You can't feel guilty over something that's never happened," Olivia replies.

"Then why do you?" Elliot retorts. He waits and she says nothing so he continues. "What if I've thought about it? A lot more than I should."

"You shouldn't," Olivia breathes out. "You think it's that easy? That everything would fall into place now that you're divorced?"

"I never said that." He doesn't expect it either. They've only just stopped arguing and started to reach some sort of silent agreement to put the last year behind them.

"No, you didn't," she relents. "You think you're the only one who's thought about it?"

Elliot shakes his head, knowing she didn't want him to speak.

"It wasn't just your marriage Elliot," she tells him. "A year ago you told me that I and this job was all you had. You were wrong, Elliot. You have your children, you always will, they will always be there for you. All _I _have is this job. I don't have a family Elliot. If anything happened I would lose _you_ and this _job_."

His hand reached out of its' own accord and clasped her neck where it met her shoulder, his fingers splaying across the top of her spine, his thumb rubbing back and forth on her collarbone lightly. He expected her to resist, shrug him off but she didn't. He wants to draw her closer; he doesn't. This is the only consolation he can give her.

She was right.

They both needed the job; it was part of who they were. They pledged an oath, one they both vowed to uphold. Neither of them was ready to sacrifice that.

"Are you going to be there when I get back?"

She stares back at him. He sees his fear mirrored on her face.

She always knew what he was thinking.

"Yeah," she promised softly.

'_"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway."' ― __John Green__, __The Fault in Our Stars_


End file.
